Healing the Mother Line
I love how the Universe tells us when we are on the right track. As I sat here about to write this I popped onto Instagram to find a message from my Cousin in America. Sarah is in her early 20s, and I have always had a deep connection with her from the time she was a baby. Her mother, my Aunt, has lived in America since I was a toddler, and once I was old enough, around 15, I used to fly out to visit her in Florida once a year. With being the age I was when Sarah was a baby, I was old enough to absorb how she was parented - breastfed to the age of 4, co-sleeping, sling wearing, organic food - as you can perhaps tell, it made an impression on me. In many ways, Sarah’s existence has had a huge impact on how I have gone on to parent my children, so how funny Sarah would send me this, as I sat down to write this very blog!
All my life I have felt different from the rest of my immediate family. I think they would readily admit that they have always found me to be ‘different’ too. This has come with a multitude of struggles along the way, on both sides, but for many years now, on becoming a mother, first to my son, and then to my daughter, I have realised that my role within the family line is to be part of, what I have called, and now realise is a term in itself, ‘Generational Healing’.
A year ago my Grandma passed away, Nanny as she was to us, on my mother’s side. Even though she wasn’t in the best of health physically, she was still very much ‘with it’, and as an intelligent woman all of her life, it was still great fun to be around her. Her passing was unexpected and sudden. As she lay in bed in hospital the whole family gathered around her day in and day out (I am so grateful that this happened when it did and not a few months later, so we could be with her). This time was special. As is inevitable in these situations stories unfolded of Nanny’s life, and what became increasingly clear to me is that, going back at least 3 or 4 generations, there had been deep wounds between the mothers and the daughters. It is not for me to share these stories here, but needless to say I felt them to my core - they were, and are, part of my genetic make up, and to a differing extent than those who had been before, but nonetheless, part of my real-life experience. I don’t need to divulge details here though in order for many of you reading this, I know, to know exactly what it is I am trying to convey.
For generations women have been subjugated by society. We have been considered lesser in almost every respect, and this has imprinted on us to such an extent, that rather than coming together against it, we have turned on one another, even within (perhaps even more so within) families. We have been forced to compete, to judge one another, to belittle one another, in order to raise ourselves up. The wounds of our own experiences as children, undealt with, still raging inside of us, have led us to ‘take it out’ on the next to come.
What we have ended up with is women who cannot trust one another, who hate themselves, and who have no knowledge of their magnificence.
Well here is what I know! We are here to disrupt the family lineage and break the cycle! Our little girls will not know that pain. They will not know what it is to hate their bodies. They will not know what it is to feel small and insignificant. They will not know what it is to need to look outside of themselves for validation. They will know how to nourish themselves in every way, and they will know that they deserve to be nourished and loved! They will know that their bodies are made to love, to birth, to nurture and sustain the generation to come. They will be able to stand in their truth and hold themselves strong against what the crumbling Patriarchy feebly tries to tell what they can and can’t do! They will join with us and complete the process of breaking down the systems which have worked so hard to try and make us forget our majesty. They will remember for all of those who have passed before them that women are the healers and the life givers, and the possessors of magic! They will know their worth and they will use this knowledge to carry us into the New World.
We are here to Heal the Mother Line. For our families, but for humanity as a whole! My mission is very clear here. I am grateful that Savannah has come to me to journey this path with me. She is my teacher, as I am her’s. Never has she, and never will she hear me say a bad word about myself. Never will she hear me tolerate anyone put me down. Always will she see me love, nourish and respect my body. Always will she know her magnificence. Together we will not only disrupt but heal the lineage that has passed before us. Together we write a new story, and I cannot wait to see how it turns out!
(When I was finding the picture for this blog post, Savannah, aged 7 next week, came into the room. She saw the picture and put her arms around me: “Mommy - that is you and me!”. I wasn’t surprised. I know she feels it too!)
I would love to hear your reflections below. If you would rather email me privately I would be honoured to hear from you. You can reach me here.