Can life be this good?
It is the 13th March and life this month, so far, has been about friendship and fun. When we get home next Wednesday, I have a day of calls the following day, and then on the Friday the children go to Josh's mum's house so Josh and I can have our monthly connection time (see the blog I wrote about ‘The Thread of Intimacy" linked below). This means that it won’t be until the 21st March that life goes ‘back to normal’ and I sit and do concentrated periods of work again. I have of course been working in dribs and drabs during the first part of the month: creating content for The Mothership community, and editing my podcast, but honestly this barely feels like ‘work’ to me because ‘the process’ (planting seeds, talking about family and relationships, connecting with likeminded women) is so part of my day to day life. I have big projects I want to work on, and they are coming, but even they won't feel like a chore….life is good.
Within The Mothership last month, and continuing into this month, we have been focusing on our Money Stories. Our ability to call in abundance into our lives is so restricted (in many cases) by the stories we have learnt from watching our parents' experience of money and/or experiences we have had ourselves that have deeply engrained a pattern within us. SO MUCH is attached to money for so many of us, and, because money is energy, when our story around money is not aligned, money doesn't flow to us.
I realised a few years back that my money story is that money cannot flow to me with joy and ease. I have always been surrounded by entrepreneurial people. Both my parents, and both sets of grandparents, worked for themselves. Most of my Aunts and Uncles have also done the same, as has my younger brother, and my closest cousin in America. Being able to make money without being in a pay cheque to pay cheque job doesn't feel scary to me; it feels normal. I feel perfectly able to make money off the back of my own skillset, using my own intuition and personal drive.
However, what I recognised when I first began uncovering my patterns around money, was that I had only ever seen money come with hard work, stress and sacrifice. Money in my life had never been associated with ease and grace. Therefore when my business started to flow with ease and grace I felt sure something was about to go wrong unless I pushed harder and harder. Don't get me wrong, I had worked very hard initially to get it to that point, but I didn't believe that it could then continue to flow without burnout and extreme sacrifice.
Life however had a way of making me see otherwise. For various reasons we ended up with the children at home with us for an extended period of time (this was before lockdowns and us choosing homeschooling), plus we had a big move from one part of the country to the other. I had to pull back from work in order to get through everything else I had to do, and I accepted that the flow of money may slow down. The thing is it didn't. I kept aligned to what mattered to me most, which was my family being happy + healthy, and I continued to show up in support of those within my life and my business who needed me in the moment. I stayed in integrity + alignment, and it was evidenced to me that money could flow to me with ease and grace. So I started to believe it more.
When we moved to Yorkshire life threw more curve balls at me. My Grandmother got sick at the end of 2019, and passed in a very sad and sudden turn of events. Immediately a very close friend was diagnosed with cancer, and the whole of January 2020 was spent caring for her. We lost her at the end of that month, and February was about saying goodbye to her. Then lockdown hit, and the two years that followed. After the initial shock I surrendered myself to the moment, and truly sank into the present moment. I put my trust in the process of my evolution during this time, and knowing that nothing mattered more than me truly showing up as me, in life and in my work.
The more I have done this, the more it has been evidenced to me that life can be this good, and actually, to pay homage to a great woman, Peta Kelly, I now challenge life to be better than each moment I am in in the present, because I believe I am worth more and more. More joy, more freedom, more naked spa days, more walks in nature, more time with my children, and more abundance financially (as much as I need and desire), and all without hardship and sacrifice.
This week as I sat in the infinity hot tub on the rooftop with my friend in Scotland, I revelled with a giggle and feeling of wonder, that my life was so good.
And I believe everyone can achieve this. I truly do. We just have to undo our stories, work out our purpose, live in alignment with it, and yes work to produce something to share with the world, but never from a place of suffering - because life really can be ‘this good’ and should be!
This week’s podcast: Do What You Love - with Elin Hemnes
I’m Guided Towards: Nono Cocoa