Navigating our way into homeschooling
Unity, Freedom and Joy
I originally wrote this blog post yesterday, spending about an hour writing out our journey to homeschooling in chronological order of events. My years spent trying to set up a Steiner Waldorf school in Leicestershire with a friend. The subsequent realisation that we couldn’t make it a reality, despite getting really close. The following one and a half years Caleb spent in a state school at the beginning of his education journey (a move I made relative peace with because he is a bright boy and as such I thought he would ‘cope’). The mild tick he developed from over stimulation at such a young age, his zombie like state when he came home each day, the sadness we felt at him losing his childhood and us losing our baby to the system. Our move to Derbyshire, so he could be at a Steiner school and rediscover his childhood again, and the struggles that came with that. The incredible changes we saw in him immediately on doing so (no more tick and our little boy returned). Watching Savannah’s journey, so different, and beautiful to witness, as she was able to begin from the outset in a Steiner setting.
And finally our move last September to York, purely for them to experience being at the York Steiner School which we had heard so many wonderful things about.
I laid all of that out in 2 A4 pages - it is a lot when it is written down, because basically the last 10 years has seen us adjusting our lives to fit with what we believed was the best choice for our children’s lives.
It wasn’t the purpose of me writing this blog though…
That was the past, it led us here.
But I want to sit firmly in the present with you all, and connect with you about why I am here writing this now, as a homeschooling mother.
Again, we have made a huge life choice, solely focused around our children, and what we believe is best for them. I believe many people today are being confronted, perhaps for the first time, with a situation where they may feel they need to do the same, and I want to share why I came to this, and conclude with a summary of how it looks in reality.
In March of this year all of our lives changed
Most of us thought it was short lived, that we would go back to ‘normal’ soon.
We muddled our way through the piles of work in google classroom, whilst juggling work and the continuous requests for being fed.
In our household this also entailed working really hard to protect our children from absorbing any fear. We do not watch the news or have the radio on, so none of the media propaganda was (is) coming into our home, and instead we focused our attention on strengthening our understanding and gratitude for our incredible bodies, nourishing ourselves, being out in nature and being together - making the most of the time we had been gifted. It sounds idyllic; it was chaos!
As the summer went on…
…and it became clear that ‘normal’ was never likely to return, and we had a long way to go before the fear subsided (I say this now not with sadness, as I truly believe something better is coming out of all of this), I was being led very clearly towards the decision to homeschool.
Whilst my children were at Steiner school, which many assumed would be better than mainstream during this time, the fear was still very apparent within the school, and either way the strict guidelines were still applicable. Each choice I have made for my children’s education has been firmly rooted in them being able to explore learning through freedom and joy. I tried to be OK with the state system early on for Caleb, but quickly knew that it was not for us. The thought therefore of my children going back into an environment where they would have to use a one way system to walk around, they couldn’t hug, they couldn’t sing, where they had to wash their hands constantly, worry about what they weren’t allowed to touch, where I felt sure that masks for children would become a reality, where they couldn’t just purely be, in their essence, in the present moment, with joy and freedom, was not something I could sign up for.
My husband felt differently
Josh was worried about our ability to cope with it. The first lockdown had driven us apart as a couple. It was so stressful for us to both be trying to work in our business (which got busier, not quieter during those months, I am blessed to be able to say), and be all we wanted to be for our children.
We didn’t see each other, despite being 24/7 in the same house for months on end. We felt like we were failing at everything, and in reality we were. Our relationship suffered, all that google classroom work, it didn’t get done, and whilst our business was doing well, we were lucky it is in a place where it can take care of itself to an extent, we didn’t give it the attention that we would have liked to. The idea of purposefully putting ourselves in this position come September felt like madness to him, but I knew in my heart it was what we had to do.
I listened to a podcast by a homeschooling mother
The lady explained that what we were all doing during lockdown was not homeschooling but, instead, it was crisis schooling! We had not chosen that path - we had been forced into it! That made total sense to me, I could see the clear distinction.
I started to imagine what it would look like if we chose it and designed our lives around it. I truly believed we could make it work, and not only that, that it would enhance our quality of life massively, by giving us more time together as a family (something I know I will never regret having) and more freedom to be able to live our days as we wanted (something our work affords for us to have but school restrained us with).
On top of this I felt sure we could also actually give our children a better education than they got in a school environment. I painted the picture for Josh, and then sat back and let him decide for himself (something I have learnt to do over the years, as it is always so much better when we come to the decision independently and then move forward as a couple from a point of mutual desire as opposed to pressure from me).
Come the end of August he was there
Not only was he there, he had reached the point where he was excited about it! We sat as a family and looked at how we could really make this work for us all. We had to accept that our haphazard approach to days would have to become slightly more scheduled (something none of us do well naturally), and that we would need to enlist some help.
As I read and learnt more about homeschooling, the main things I took were that firstly it looks different for everyone, and secondly it is not school transferred into the home, but rather it is home with schooling woven in, importantly again, in the way that works for you as a family - one size does not fit all, and nor does it need to!
I reflected on my own schooling experience, and I realised that the reasons I did well were that I could read, I could write, I could listen, I learnt the fundamentals of maths and science, I was encouraged to be curious, to form opinion, and to be able to support my opinion. I also, let’s be honest, learnt how to memorise a shed load of information and regurgitate it in an exam setting, which was undoubtedly helped by my ability to write well and express and provide evidence to support my opinion but, ultimately, I got really good at learning information from past papers!
I felt, and continue to feel, sure that I can support my children to pass an exam. What I realised through my research, and by tuning into what I was being guided towards, was that, through homeschooling, I could give them more than that. Through focused one on one academic attention (thereby actually enhancing their learning), but fundamentally all the while honouring their childhood, and giving them the foundations of robust emotional wellbeing. I believe that this is the most important thing a child needs to be able to grow into the best and truest version of themselves, and something which I feel strongly is hugely missing from the mainstream system and, I felt, was also going to be compromised even at the Steiner school given the current world events.
Throughout my life as an adult I have constantly been striving for liberation and sovereignty
I have always made choices that are not as easy as going along with the crowd, but I make because I take full responsibility for shaping the life that I want for myself, for us all as a family.
2020 has seen our every day liberties slowly stripped away from us, and this is not something that I can just accept lying down. In every area I can physically control I will fight for us to forge the lives we want for ourselves. Every choice I make is carefully considered (with joy!), from what we eat, what and who we surround ourselves with, how we spend our time, how we build our business (with the focus being to create more freedom), and I could therefore not follow any other path but extend this into our children’s everyday experience right now, and indeed for always. Keeping them at home, so we could continue to protect and nurture them through these tumultuous times, so we could stay grounded and connected as a unit, was for me the only option, and so far it has been one of the best decisions we have ever made!
That lady was right. We are not crisis schooling, but rather, in my own words, we are freedom schooling!
And I would truly recommend it to anyone who felt that it was on their heart to follow this path for their family too.
Here is how we have made it work:
We made a schedule!
Here is how it looks:
Wake up at 8am, get dressed and have breakfast
Chores from 9am to 10am (all of us!)
10am to 12pm school
Afternoon free time (for me this is flexible, for Josh he has a structured plan for the week - we make it work to fit our personalities)
By 4pm we are home
Ready to eat dinner by 6
In bed by 8
2 hours of schooling and that’s it - say what!?
I recently heard that a Primary Teacher said she can get done in ½ an hour a week of 1-2-1 tuition, what she could do in a whole week with a child in a classroom setting! That is our experience so far - the development in them both in the last 2 months has amazed us!
Josh and I split up the time equally between us and we have stuck to it and respected one another’s child free time
This is mainly used for us to work, but includes time for us to leave the home and have quiet time to ourselves without guilt of leaving the other parent behind, and without resentment from the other side.
We found a program that we could use to give us focus in our schooling time
Some people choose to be free flowing with it, but for us we needed some structure. Many of the homeschooling programs that exist are based on the Charlotte Mason method, which looks at the whole child; something I could connect to having followed the Steiner philosophy for many years.
You will find in many of the programs that exist, there is also a religious aspect to the schooling, which is not something that was important to us, and as such I looked past when deciding which program was right for us. I ended up settling on Gather ‘Round Homeschool, which is so beautifully brought together to provide families with a broad range of topics which they can choose to work through, set out in individual lessons, with then age appropriate activities for each child to do alone or with your assistance. It includes a religious aspect, but it is minimal, and for us not something we complete, but it is there if it is wanted. We have started with Oceans, and so far each lesson has been enjoyed by everyone, and is complete within 1 and a half to 2 hours.
We have bought a couple of additional educational tools to give us some focus throughout the days
So far this has been in the form of Mel Science and Mud and Bloom boxes, which we receive monthly to our home.
We have connected to other homeschooling families
And have already created some beautiful friendships for the children (and for me!). There are lots of groups on Facebook, and everyone on there seems really keen to help and share ideas (plus more and more families are choosing this in today’s world, so it is a very diverse and fast growing community).
We got help!
Caleb wanted to learn Spanish, and in looking for a tutor we found a lovely teacher who now comes 3 days a week to teach Caleb for an hour and a half and Savannah for half an hour. She works with them both on English, Maths and Spanish. We found her through the First Tutors website.
We got more help!
I appreciate that this would not be possible for everyone (and it is something I am so grateful to now be able to have, after years of having to do it all myself as we grew our business) but I want to say it here to give you permission to know you don’t have to do it all .
I found a wonderful woman who comes to our home and helps me with keeping it clean and therefore maintaining it is a calm environment for us all to be in. This has been crucial for me, with running a business of my own, cooking everything we eat from scratch, and wanting to be present with the children when I am not doing either of these two things. It is OK to not be able to do it all! (And to note this does not have to be someone you pay, you may also be able to achieve this by asking for help from family or swapping childcare with friends - ask for help though!)
We got guinea pigs!
We have a cockapoo called Cardie who we love and adore, but the children wanted a pet they could look after themselves, and we thought now was the perfect time for this, and, so far, Mog and Albus have been a great addition to our little unit.
We have invested in a lot of puzzles!
We are a bit obsessed with them, and sometimes this is how our homeschool morning looks - teaching us teamwork skills, concentration, commitment, logical thinking, memory, spatial reasoning, problem solving, as well as being proven to be a great stress reliever. We are in LOVE with eeBoo 500 and 1000 piece puzzles, which I buy from a beautiful little toy shop in St Ives, Cornwall, Little Goat Gruff.
Most importantly we are always coming back to what matters
Being together, growing together, loving one another hard, and standing in our truth, despite what is going in the world around us, united, free to decide for ourselves, and as such, keeping joy at the centre, in times when we need it the most.
To follow along with our homeschooling adventures you can find me on Instagram here or you can join my newsletter here. I would love to hear from you if this is something you also choose to explore, or already have chosen to follow as the path for your family - the bigger the community around me the better!